Possibly the FUNNIEST email I have EVER received!

Last night my hubby and I had a conversation about hair waxing and how I am absolutely NOT interested in EVER trying it on ANY part of my body...I'm of the belief that it hurts and thus very much averted from trying it...I'll stick to shaving or leaving my hair. HERE is an example of what I will NEVER EVER have to worry about....

~~~~~~~~~ (OH, and make sure you're not reading this in the middle of the night, in a meeting, or at the library...you WILL laught out LOUD at least once!) ~~~~~~~~~

All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises of easy, painless removal - The epilady, scissors, razors, Nair, and now...the wax. My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home, fix dinner, play with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours: "Maybe I should pull the waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet." So I headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom. It was one of those "cold wax" kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm and you peel them apart and press them to your leg (or wherever else) and you pull the hair right off. No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, I'm not a genius, but I am mechanicallyinclined enough to figure this out. (YA THINK!?!) So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in so I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. ("Coldwax,"yeah...right!) I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull. It works! OK, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this! Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-rah, fighter of all wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin extraordinaire. With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids, I sneak back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship. I drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using the same procedure, I apply the one strip across the right side of my bikini line, covering the right half of my *hoo-hoo* and stretching down to the inside of my butt cheek (Yes, it was a long strip) I inhale deeply and brace myself....RRRRIIIPPP!!!! I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!....OH MY GOSH!!!!!!!!! Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half the strip. CRAP!!! Another deep breath and RRIIPP!! Everything is swirly and spotted. I think may pass out...must stay conscious...Do I hear crashing drums??? Breathe, breathe...OK, back to normal. I want to see my trophy - a wax covered strip, the one that has caused meso much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip! There's no hair on it. Where is the hair??? WHERE IS THE WAX??? Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the hair…the hair that should be on the strip. I touch. I am touching wax. CRAP! I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair. Then I make the next BIG mistake...remember my foot is still propped up on the toilet? I know I need to do something. So I put my foot down. DANG!!!!!!!! I hear the slamming of a cell door. *hoo-hoo*? Sealed shut! Butt?? Sealed shut! I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself, "Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head may pop off!" What can I do to melt the wax? Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!!! I'll run the hottest water I can stand into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax-covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right??? WRONG!!!!!!! I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit. Now, the only thing worse than having your nether regions glued together is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub...in scalding hot water... which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax. So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had cement-epoxied myself to the porcelain!! God bless the man who had convinced me a few months ago to have a phone put in the bathroom!!!!! I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter: "So, my butt and who-ha are glued together to the bottom of the tub!" There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for removal but she does try to hide her laughter from me. She wants to know exactly where the wax is located, "Are we talking cheeks or who-ha?" She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her. I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box. YEAH!!!!! Right!! I should be the joke of someone else's night. While we go through various solutions. I resort to scraping the wax off with a razor. Nothing feels better then to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry-shaving the sticky wax off!! By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I'm pretty sure I'm going to need Post-Traumatic Stress counseling for this event. My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving grace....the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax. What do I really have to lose at this point? I rub some on and OH MY GOSH!!!!!!! The scream probably woke the kids and scared the dickens out of my friend. It's sooo painful, I but I really don't care. "IT WORKS!! It works!!" I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up. I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief and despair....THE HAIR IS STILL THERE.......ALL OF IT!!!!!!!!!! So I recklessly shave it off. Heck, I'm numb by now. Nothing hurts. I could have amputated my own leg at this point.

Now, you see, I just do NOT need this experience! LOL

Stomping on the Flag

Yesterday while waiting for my girls at the end of school, I watched as some children ran out of the building to lower the flag. It was the same scene as every other day until I witnessed one of the young men wrap himself up inside our flag. I don’t know exactly why he chose to do this—perhaps he thought it was a way to keep the flag off of the ground; however, it isn’t proper or acceptable and in doing so he dropped the corners in the mud and stepped on our flag. As I was witnessing this process I took notice of several so-called AMERICAN adults standing around while I was across the way in my van. I felt reasonably secure in the thought that the men and women standing within the sound of voice would encourage these young people in how to properly rest the flag, so I waited.
I sat there for a moment taking in this sight, thinking the people right there would tell the children what needed to be done, a large SUV pulled up beside me stopping for the crossing guard blocking my view, when the vehicle pulled away saw—to my horror—our stars and stripes laying on the ground while these children were trying to retire the state flag and dragging it, too, on the ground.
I couldn’t believe my eyes! At least 10 AMERICAN adults stood there while these 9-11 year olds were unintentionally violating our beautiful, sacred flag. Not one of those characters who enjoy the freedoms, liberties, and security this flag represents could take three seconds to say something like: hey guys, make sure the flag doesn’t touch the ground…NOTHING! Personally I think it’s incomprehensible.
I exited my van to cross the street, walk across the entire school lawn, and watched as I marched myself over to see one of those children picked up our flag and then—for reasons I couldn’t say or guess, he tossed it back onto the ground. He THREW Old Glory on the ground! My heart began to race; how could they not know this is not OK? Were they not instructed, reminded, and/or encouraged to honor the symbol of all that we hold dear? And worse yet, NO ONE, not one living soul had ANYTHING to say, not one of these criminally ignorant human adults did a thing.
I approached the children to see our flag carelessly folded up—to be honest, it was mostly wadded up, carelessly tossed aside atop the state flag. My heart sank. I knew it was on the ground, but I had thought they had at least folded our flag, to see it crumpled on the ground was more than I was prepared for.
I scooped up MY American flag, the flag my husband defends everyday for you and for me, along with my state flag I told the children that we NEVER ever let our flag touch the ground, not EVER. I hugged these flags to my body and took them into the school office. Does anyone remember that IF we allow our flag to touch the ground we’re supposed to burn it? Burn it because it has been desecrated?
Americans, do we no longer value ANYTHING? Are we so iniquitous, so hardened that NOTHING is sacred to us? I’m not speaking of religion, simply of honoring the most basics of goodness. Millions of men and women have put their lives on the line for our flag, hundreds of thousands of lost their lives for this flag of their own volition, our national anthem is all about this very flag, do we not care when it’s being defiled—even in ignorance. Do we not stand up for anything? Do we not take a moment to teach our young about respect, admiration, and reverence?
I am so offended, so disheartened, and utterly astonished that not one person could open his or her mouth to help these young people show reverence or esteem for that which assures our right to stand around yapping our jaws on our cell phone, protects our right to speak our minds without retaliation, allows us to choose almost anything we desire…this is Old Glory, YOUR Glory, without it you have no promise to a voice or choice or freedom. Who needs enemies? Who needs a war? We’re so self- absorbed we’re going to destroy ourselves because we can’t step out of our own little bubbles to take notice when something isn’t correct, we can’t be bothered to help. Indeed, we’re so into our own little individual lives that we’re socially suicidal.
As far as I’m concerned, if you stand around while anyone devalues our flag, you are just as guilty, especially when YOU know better, to me, you’re NO better than any terrorist bent on our destruction. Shame on You! Sins of omission are just as dangerous—if not more, than those of action…lack of action is a clear and active invitation to assault.
We complain that our youth have no values, are selfish, destructive, and have no regard or respect for anyone or for anything. Well, where are they supposed to learn that? Where are they going to see it? Until we, as adults, stop pretending that all is well, that there is nothing that actually pertains to our lives unless we intend it, until we open up our little eyes and take notice of the fact that the world doesn’t just consist of you or me, until we do and say what we complain our youth aren’t doing the children of tomorrow are doomed to self-destructive behavior, complacency, and will not be prepared to protect themselves against any number of attacks because they’re being taught to look nowhere but within themselves, their wants, and their desires…
Our Flag for goodness sake! It isn’t the fabric that matters; it’s the disregard for sacrifice, loyalty, goodness, justice, liberty, FREEDOM, family, equality, honor, all things good and proper—it’s the symbol of our right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. This flag is what waves over us to say: all these things are protected and valued here. Stomping on the flag is the same as stomping on all these virtues. A child may not know better but we American Adults do, it’s our obligation to teach and display this to our country’s children, to step in and help out when something isn’t right!

Compare the price

As I said in the previous post, Shaklee has saved me a ton of money with their cleaning system. Here is a price comparison of a major in-store brand, a well known "enviromentally friendly" company, and Shaklee. You'll see why I say I save money. What's great about it is that I get the power and performance of the major brands minus the harsh perfumes and chemicals that irritate my skin, lungs, and eys, and I get the great and wonderful feel-good satisfaction of enviromental "activism"--if you will--as with the "Green" companies; with Shaklee it's all combined.

Click on the graphic to enlarge it.

Another Reason I ONLY use SHAKLEE!!!

Here we go: ANOTHER reason for my friends (you know, ANYone reading this) to join me in using SHAKLEE products. The "cleaners" I use have saved me tons of money, but this expense is one I hadn't thought too much about--the cost of a hospital trip and all the pain killers this poor little guy had to use. I have enjoyed the lack of obnoxious fumes that attack my lungs as with the average in-store products, I've liked the fact that one bottle of Basic H and Basic G lasts practically "forever", and I've had the comfort of knowing that when ingested Poisen Control said it was nothing to worry about (lets not be silly and decided to start serving it for a favorite beverage or anything though, ya know; however, you CAN wash your fruits and veggies with it), but I hadn't really put much thought on in not burning my children...BASIC H would have saved this poor little guy all the pain and agony he's suffered.

After reading this email I feel I need to take this opportunity to suggest, almost IMPLORE you to take a look at SHAKLEE's "GET CLEAN" system. http://www.shaklee.net/reginagarcia

There's a lot to be said for a company who has become the world's first Climate Neutral certified company, a company dedicated to the health of the enviroment as well as thier customers to the extent of ending production of a top selling product due to possible abuse by purchasers, a company willing to put its money where the CEO's mouth is by going without the profits of any product for a year because a crop of needed plants doesn't stand up to its high scrutiny even when other competing companies who buy from the same agricultural supplier continued to produce from that same crop...there's something to be said for SHAKLEE, go find out what it is.

You can read what happened to KOBY below and why I'm happy to know that I don't have to worry...I have nothing I need to through out.

The photo is of Kolby - 24 hours after being burned by a Magic Eraser sponge.. It was much worse the day before. Here is the email we received -one of my five year old's favorite chores around the house is cleaning scuff marks off the walls, doors, and baseboards with either an Easy Eraser pad, or the real deal, a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser. I rememberreading the box, wondering what the "Magic" component was that cleanedcrayon off my walls with ease. No ingredients were listed and absolutely no warnings were on the box, other than "Do not ingest."My package of the Scotchbrite Easy Erasers didn't have a warning either;and since my child knew not to eat the sponges and keep them out of reach of his little brother and sister, it was a chore I happily let him do. If I had known that both brands (and others like them) contain a harmful alkaline or "base" chemical (opposite of acid on the pH scale) that can burn your skin, I never would have let my little boy handle them. As you can see from the picture, when the Scotchbrite Easy Eraser was rubbed against his face and chin, he received severe chemical burns. At first, I thought he was being dramatic. I picked him up, put him on the counter top and washed his face with soap and water. He was screaming in pain. I put some lotion on his face - more agony. I had used a Magic Eraser to remove magic marker from my own knuckles a while back and I couldn't understand why he was suddenly in pain. Then, almost immediately, the large, shiny, blistering red marks started to spread across his cheeks and chin. I quickly searched Google.com for "Magic Eraser Burn" and turned up several results. I was shocked. These completely innocent looking white foam sponges can burn you? I called our pediatrician, and of course got sent to voice mail. I hung up and called the hospital and spoke to an emergency room nurse. She told me to call Poison Control. The woman at Poison Control said she was surprised nobody had sued these companies yet and walked me through the process of neutralizing the alkaline to stop my son's face from continually burning more every second. I had already, during my frantic phone calling, tried patting some numbing antibiotic cream on his cheeks, and later some Aloe Vera gel -both resulted in screams of pain. The Poison Control tech had me fill a bathtub with warm water, lay my son into it, cover him with a towel to keep him warm and then use a soft washcloth to rinse his face and chin with cool water for a continuous 20 minutes. My son calmed down immediately. He told me how good it felt. I gave him a dose of Tylenol and after the twenty minutes was up, he got dressed in his Emergency Room doctor Halloween costume and off we went to the hospital. They needed to make sure the chemical burn had stopped burning, and examine his face to determine if the burn would need to be debrided (from my fuzzy recollection of hospital work, this means removing loose tissue from a burn location). My son was pretty happy at the hospital, they were very nice and called him "Doctor" and let him examine some of their equipment. The water had successfully stopped the burning and helped soothe a lot of the pain. I'm sure Tylenol was helping too. They sent us home with more Aloe Vera gel, Polysporin antibiotic cream, and some other numbing creams. By the time we got home, my son was crying again. I tried applying some of the creams but he cried out in pain. Water seemed to be what worked the best. After a rough night, I took the above photo in the morning. He was swollen and wouldn't move his lips very much. The skin on his cheeks was taut.Today he is doing much better. The burns have started to scab over, and in place of red, raw, angry, skin we have a deeper red, rough healing layer. I can touch his skin now, without it stinging. If you are a parent or grandparent, this post is meant to save your loved ones from the horror these parents went through. Please share it with other parents, grandparents, babysitters, aunts and uncles ~ anyone you know who spends time with kids.

Movie Woes

OK, can ANYone tell me WHY exactly it's so dang important to edify fornication and adultery, ignorant expressions filled with profanity, mockery of respectful and generalized good manners, and applause the intolerance of normal behavior as defined by the author and creator of this world and all the creatures herein? Why must I watch an otherwise decent movie with a nice story--maybe even a message of value, buried under a quagmire of filth and immorality? Is it really all that necessary for me to sit down with my children ready to enjoy a cute story and be assaulted with nudity and simulations of sexual encounters? Movies supposedly rated judiciously and cautiously to protect young viewers are filled with “just a bit” of violence, “just a little” profanity, and “only a few” scenes of sex or nudity. It’s utterly frustrating. Why are we advertising for our children the ridiculous notion that “free love”, openly uncommitted body bouncing is the best we can do, why the mockery o f self-respect and value, why the celebration of degradation??? I don’t understand it!!!

I watched a moving the other night where a young man brings home the woman he thinks he wants to marry, she chooses not the sleep in the same bed with him under his mother’s roof, and is jeered BY THE MOTHER who’s character claims the choice to be RIDICULOUS…yes, ridiculous. No, this girl isn’t coming to dinner wearing her great-grandmother’s underwear on her head holding tightly to the worn and torn fuzzy blanket she had growing up and sucking her thumb…no, it isn’t something “ridiculous” at all…it was the minimal thing this woman could do to show an ounce of respect to self and the family; however, instead of any type of approval, this action is shunned and ridiculed.

Today, I watched a movie that appeared to be a great movie about mother/daughter relationship wrapped in comedy. Yes, well, it was laughable alright! Mother and daughters comparing sexual exploitation, belittlement of a young woman NOT mopping up the town with her undergarments, and then the scintillating adoration of her moving along with TWO intimate relationships at the same time…the only redeeming thing about the movie is the credits. I was so disappointed. This story could have been told, with most of the same jokes, minus devaluing virtue. We did not need to see a beautiful young woman act like her otherwise high standard for life had little or no worth for her body…she, in essence, became a tourist site…she, being a rare and beautiful work of art was reduced to a piece of cheap costume jewelry one would find carelessly thrown into an old box and placed on a folding table to be rifled through in a yard sale…for what purpose?? She was hurt and left alone due to the actions so celebrated by society’s clamoring self-indulgent 30-second microwave dogma.

It’s just so tiring.

This weekend we brought home a beautiful movie, well written, well executed; yet, even this children’s movie honored the heresy of non-committed unfiltered idealization of fornication. Why in the world do we portray for children the wonderful happiness and bliss of things study after study have proven do NOT bring lasting joy, do NOT bring security, and only mockingly falsify love?

Let me clear here; this isn’t the ranting of a prude. I have no problem openly and blatantly talking about sexual relations, intimacy, body parts, etc…I’ve been known to talk about sex, say the words: uterus, vagina, and penis in church; however, it’s never with utter or ignorant disrespect.

I’m not shuttered or shut down by the mere placement of the subjects within a storyline; it’s the irreverence, the recklessness, the bold-faced deception of it all. The worst part of it all was that in two of these movies it was the MOTHER who was encouraging the foolishness…and sadly, the mother in both movies was played by a woman I had once held high regard for.

There really isn’t much a family can watch together, the standards are barely higher for entertainment of families than it is for wanton degenerates.

September 11

Today is a very heavy, yet hopeful, day. My mind is set on remembering the horrific scenes my eyes witnessed on the television of the attack on America in New York City, the visions of the Pentagon, and the stories of the Flight in Pennsylvania. My heart aches again for the families of all those amazing people who died...and my mind ponders the obvious miracle having had taken place by the intended numbers of death in the two targeted areas being substantially lower by thousands. How could anyone forget?

I've watched memorials on DVD of the Healing Fields all over the country where flags are flying, standing upright and boldly waving for freedom in the name of each and every American brother and sister who past through the veil of life into the eternities with their maker.

Today, I'm humbled to think that my husband, knowing the battle ahead, still felt led to stand up for our country, for freedom, for the people under the terrible and oppressed leadership of terroristic and lasciviousness, and for goodness when he could have understandably held back and changed his mind. I am SO PROUD of him! From the beginning 18 years ago in high school I have always considered him my hero...yeah, he really is my HERO...he’s a hero for you, too!

I am also humbled at the marvelous and compelling time and service of all the military wives, husbands, and families who unconditionally support their soldiers, airmen, marines, and seamen. I'm not as put together and selfless as they are...they are also heroes and heroines to me.

If you have the ability to visit a Healing Field near you, I HIGHLY encourage you to do so with your whole family.
Go.
Remember.
Feel.
Have Gratitude.
Become Edified.
Share in the Conviction.
Pick up the Cause.
Leave with Peace and Hope.
If you cannot visit one, go out to the Healing Field website and view the many photos...you'll be glad you did! www.healingfield.org

God Bless America!!!

BIG Lessons from Little Kids

Look what I found on MSN (ok, so I altered it a little bit and its mostly for "boys" but, in general, I think its a bunch of things we could all benefit from):

Big Lessons from Little Kids – MSN Lifestyle:Men

1. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Even when there's not a prize in the bottom of the box.
2. Sometimes it's best to be completely blunt with people, as you used to be with relatives who wanted you to do something embarrassing or tedious for a shiny quarter.
3. Asking questions is how you figure things out. Lots and lots of questions.
4. An older, wiser Gordie Lachance says in Stand By Me, "I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was 12." Lachance is right. The trick is to try to be the friend you were when you were 12: fun-loving and loyal, with no strings attached.
5. Playing is work. Approach your downtime with all the seriousness of a 5-year-old with a secret treasure map.
6. Real guys don't dip their toes in the water. They jump right in.
7. Girls have cooties. Well, the ones you meet in certain bars do, anyway.
8. You hated it when a grown-up told you, "We'll see." It's still unacceptable. Don't say it yourself.
9. The only way to know how something works is to completely disassemble it. (This is still good advice when tackling a complex problem. Your plasma TV? Not so much).
10. There's a reason they don't give credit cards to 8-year-olds. You're supposed to save up money before you buy a new toy.
11. Your body was designed for throwing baseballs, shooting hoops, and jumping off diving boards and stuff. In the secret language of children, the word "fitness" doesn't exist. It's called "having fun."
12. Your world can be half-real and half-imaginary.
13. Homework blows. Bring work home with you and it'll ruin your night. And your marriage. And your family. And your life.
14. Too much of anything will give you a tummy ache.
15. If there's even the slightest doubt, hit the potty before you leave.
16. The coolest adults were the ones who took the time to listen to you. You still want to grow up to be a cool adult, right?
17. Treasure Island, Dracula: The best books are consumed after dark with a flashlight.
18. Use adrenaline as your drug of choice. You don't need beer, pot, or cigarettes to have a good time.
19. Kissing a girl on the cheek is a big deal. Kissing her lips is an even bigger deal.
20. Going after a target in the urinal makes the time whiz by.
21. Seeing a thunderstorm roll in is better than watching HDTV. And rain isn't something to curse, but to enjoy. Hurry up, before it clears.